The Seven Stages of Academic Motivation

While sitting in my living room, thoroughly pleased with myself for deciding to skip my last class today, I began to do what I tend to do around the same time every semester: bargaining. Read it. Get familiar with it. Embrace it.

Bargaining is an awesome little device that I use to determine exactly how much I can get away with while still maintaining a semi-decent grade in any given class. Then I realized that I go through the same ups and downs each semester when it comes to school...and so, I developed the Oh-So-Splendid, Far-From-Ephemeral, Ever Insightful... (Drum roll, please.)

Seven Stages of Academic Motivation

1.) Avid Enthusiasm

          Duration: First week to school-Third Week of School

          Implications: Gung-ho about first day of school, resolutions to pay attention in class, meet professors, meet new people, resolve to get all A’s

2.) Spirited Procrastination

          Duration: Fourth week of school-Week before midterms

          Implications: You realize that classes aren’t that hard. You procrastinate and wait to read those chapters in the text because you have ample time before exams. No sweat.

3.) Frenzied Motivation

          Duration: Week of midterms

          Implications: Holy sh*t! Midterms are this week?!? Get coffee. Pull an all-nighter. Repeat x5

4.) Apathy

          Duration: Week after midterms-Three weeks before school ends

          Implications: You can finally breathe now that exams are over. You skip classes liberally and don’t do much studying at all. You deserve a break, right?

5.) Bargaining

          Duration: Two weeks before school ends-One week before school ends

          Implications: This is where you determine exactly how much you can get away with and still get the grade that you want. How many classes can I still skip? If I can get that quiz grade dropped, I don’t need to take that last quiz, right?

6.) Number-Crunching

Duration: Last week of school

Implications: Break out the calculator. What grades do you need to get to pass? 87? 94?! Damn, did I really procrastinate that badly this semester?

7.) Relief

          Duration: After finals

          Implications: Praise the Lord! “I’m free!” as The Who would say. Proceed to the beach, summer parties, and whatever the hell it is you do when you’re on vacation.

Okay, so maybe it's a little exaggerated. But still hauntingly true, amirite?

On a happier note, I found this awesome website that features furniture and home decor that is designed based on different foods and condiments. (!!!) Check out this awesome sunny-side up egg pillow:

Can you say, next sewing project? Pictures to come after I actually get up off my lazy bum and make this!

Find more of these awesome projects here.

Anyway, off to cook din-din for today. Either Cajun shrimp and chicken pasta or curry shrimp and chicken with rice. Haven't decided yet.

Meanwhile, I'll be sitting here doing some more bargaining. I know, I know. I'm a slacker. But what can I say? I got things to see, people to do, and egg pillows to make.

♫RY